


Luge is for Losers

by AirTrafficControl



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 2014 Winter Olympics, AO3 1 Million, Betting, Curling, Fluff, Gen, Ice Dancing, M/M, bob sleigh, ice hockey, skeleton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-12 14:38:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1188873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AirTrafficControl/pseuds/AirTrafficControl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers and co. enjoy watching the Winter Olympics together</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Luge is for Losers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil just wants to go home, grab a beer and watch people hurtle down a mountain at 85kmph

Phil sighed as he picked up the last stack of files from his inbox. He just had to finish reviewing and signing off on the requisition forms before he could go home and put his feet up. Contrary to popular belief he did actually have a life beyond Shield and he enjoyed it a lot thank you very much.  
He skimmed through the last few folders, they were all responsible employees and it was a boring time of year anyway. He shifted them to his outbox and shut down his computer preparing to get out of the building as quickly as possible. He made it to the car park before being ambushed by an Avenger. 

"Whatcha doin' boss? Heading home already?" Barton's face was much to chipper for a rainy February and Phil was trying no to think what sort of international incident might have been the cause. Instead of replying Phil just kept walking to his car, Barton climbed in the front seat.  
"Any good plans? I know Tasha's going away to a spa with May, a Valentine's gift apparently." Phil shook his head as he started the familiar drive back to Stark Tower.  
"If you must know Barton, I'm going to watch the Olympic Skeleton with a cold beer and some Chinese food."  
Barton's eyes lit up at the mention of dinner, Phil sighed.  
"Did you actually eat today Barton or did you just expect your body to create its own nutrients by photosynthesis because I'm fairly certain you are not a green plant." Barton stuck his tongue out.  
"Ya know, Chinese is my favourite." Barton's eyes were not persuasive and puppy like at all, no, absolutely not.(okay, only a little bit)  
"ah, fine. Might as well enjoy the company." Phil admitted settling into a comfortable silence for the rest of the trip home. 

They ended up sat on the sofa, food abandoned in favour of cheering on the racers.  
"Go on! You can do it! YES." Barton yelled as the penultimate woman went down. "American Gold Phil, told you." Phil refused to take the bait. There was a bottle of good Vodka riding on this.  
"Yarnold's too far ahead, she could crash and still win." Barton scoffed but went silent as the Brit lined up her sledge. Both men were tense, squealing like pigs as the last runner hit the wall over and over the commentators repeating Phil's bet and the clock in the corner of the screen staying green. 

Barton gave Phil his prize but they shared and by the time the Saturday rolled around there were two very hungover SHIELD agents on the floor and an empty bottle on the table. Barton didn't need a gold medal to tell him he was onto a winner


	2. Sochi Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is enjoying the Olympics in her own special way

Barton had been partially right when he said that Tasha and May had gone away to a spa, but relaxing wasn't the only thing that they were doing. The women were soaking in a hot tub whilst listening to the coverage of Ice Hockey at the Games.   
"I would have expected more than this from Russia." commented Melinda as the commentator called out another goal from the American team. The red head scowled with disgust.  
"Russia have not managed to win a Gold in the Ice Hockey since the Union split up." Melinda let the corners of her mouth curl up.  
"Surely you have to prefer democracy to sports ranking?" Tasha didn't answer instead taking a sip from the bottle she had assured her friend contained water. "Well at least the opening ceremony went, okay." May winced as she tried to keep cheerful.  
"Do not worry друг, I am that little bit happier every time they fail. To think, in my day the person who was responsible for that snowflake fiasco would already by in the ground." It was most worrying to May that that was a quite reasonable comment from one of her closest friends.   
"Never mind the snowflake, have you seen the hotels?" Both women span round to see Maria appearing with a phone in one hand and a cocktail in the other. Melinda tried to swat the phone away but the Deputy Director kept hold.   
"Maria, no work on spa day, that's your own rule." Maria protested.  
"It isn't work, its a twitter feed from one of the journalists, apparently the hotels are less than appealing." The women crowded round to look and laugh at the images of double toilets, broken walls and non-existent light bulbs.

When they eventually left the warmth of the hot tub the women went down to the restaurant.   
"oh look," Maria exclaimed. "They've got Tasha's childhood favourite, borshch" Tasha just looked up innocently and replied.  
"Me, Russian, what ever gave you that idea."


	3. Bob sleigh Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has a plan, Bruce isn't so sure

“Do you think...?” Bruce stopped his counterpart before he could explain further.   
“No, please Tony, no.” The billionaire looked round with a frown.  
“Brucey-boo, how on earth could you know what I was about to say?” Bruce sighed and placed down the Petri dish he had been inspecting.   
“You were about to say something stupid and futile and yet just possible enough to pique my interest before getting me into something I do not need to be involved with. That and you’re watching the Olympics bobsleigh in slow motion to calculate drag and momentum” Tony considered it for a second before nodding.  
“You know me so very well. Anyway so, I’ve been planning this on and off...” Bruce stopped him again.   
“I am lodging my objections now officially and will only be part of this discussion as a responsible adult supervisor.” Bruce figured there was no way that he could avoid the genius in his own tower so he might as well try to control the chaos. “Go on then, how far have you gotten?”  
“Well, I reckon I could shave at leader a quarter off of the current leading times with a few minor alterations and with our team another sixth.” Bruce wasn’t sure how long that was but it did sound impressive.   
“And who makes up our team exactly?” The genius perked up.  
“Cap is fast and strong and heavy, so is Thor; he would be the brake guy by the way. I reckon Widow would be small enough to make up for the guys’ bulk and then I would drive obviously.”  
“Obviously.” Bruce replied, boasting the mechanics ego before knocking him down. “Your plan is brilliant except for the fact that Thor isn’t eligible because space Viking, Cap is 99% steroids and Romanoff is a woman.” That actually did silence the shorter man for a moment, a very short moment.   
“What about you, me, Hawkeye and Rhodey?” Tony’s proposal was better but still wrong.   
“What about if we crash or even just lose and the other guy comes out to play?” Tony huffed again.   
“Phil, no wait, Fury” Bruce tried to fault the team but from a technical point of view it was sound. Bruce desperately needed to find a fault in the plan before Tony took it to Pepper or worse to Fury.   
Tony, just think about one thing.” Bruce was already wincing at the thought. “You would have to see Fury in Neoprene and Lycra.”   
“JARVIS, delete proposal “We Avengers got a bobsled team.”


	4. Ice Ice Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor decides to ignore the warning, 'don't try this at home.'

Thor looked at the little Midgardian couple whizzing around on the ice. He was somewhat hypnotised by the speed they were reaching and the rapid, unusual movements. He couldn’t quite figure out how the tangle of limbs kept ending up in the prettiest patterns. Curios he tried to imitate the man, lifting an arm above his head warily and pointing his foot. He looked across at his reflection in the window and huffed with frustration. He didn’t look graceful or delicate. Maybe he just needed a partner to practice with.  
“I remember the 1932 games at Lake Placid, we won 6 gold medals. I was glued to the radio.” Thor did as he had been instructed, by the Man of Iron and the Marksman, and ‘hmmed’ thoughtfully whilst dragging along the Captain. Despite the good Captain’s strength he was no match for the demi-god and so he let himself be taken along.  
“What do you want me to do Thor?” Cap asked looking over the indoor ice rink that Stark had on the 4th floor down because that would seem logical to a Stark.  
“I desire to replicate the artistic feats of the Midgardian shape sliders” Cap puzzled over the request.  
“I believe Master Thor wishes to try ice dancing Captain, he had a simple routine he wants to attempt.” Cap thanked JARVIS and looked across the rink in front of him.  
“You realise that ice dancing is usually done with a man and a woman, don’t you Thor?” The Asgardian nodded gleefully.  
“Both Miss Potts and Jane declined and my fellow warrior Darcy threatened me with the lightning box again.” Cap had yet to feel the power of Miss Lewis’ taser and he would prefer it to stay that way. He changed into the skates Thor had managed to find and stepped slowly onto the ice. 

“No Captain, your left leg needs to be higher, above my shoulder.” Darcy guffawed, hidden in the unused office to the side of Jane’s lab. She had left the scientist in favour of watching the security coverage from JARVIS. It was absolute comedy gold. To the truth she would have enjoyed being flung around the ice by Thor but this was her best idea yet.  
“Thor, my knee doesn't bend that way. Thor, put me down, THOR!” Darcy squealed and shot off a text to her fellow prank appreciators Tony and Clint. She had been the one to leave the TV in the common room on the Ice Dancing to start with, knowing full well that Thor would be unable to resist.  
“Captain, you seem somewhat green, should I stop the spinning?” Darcy had never thought the Olympics could be so inspiring.


	5. Curling chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper mourns the outcome of her favourite sport

Pepper sighed heavily as she checked the rankings once again. It was ridiculous how poorly the American team had been doing. She was ashamed to admit that she had once had a poster of the women’s curling team above her bed and had watched every match from every single Olympics. This year was not one of their best, how could they have come last? She was born in a small town in an icy part of Washington, only a few miles from the Canadian border. Snow was a normal part of her life and her family liked ot embrace it. Her own Grandfather had been part of the team in 1928. She was determined to do better than he had.  
The CEO in her shook off the disappointment and focused on the proposal in front of her for a merger with a small aeronautics company in Ohio. She would see that team get better even if she had to approve Stark sponsorship herself.

A few days later, as the curling drew to an end, Pepper became agitated. She couldn't focus and was itching to get back on the ice. She had to prove to herself that she wasn't imagining it, that there was still the possibility of team USA one day winning gold. Luckily for her, Tony was obsessive and as soon as he found out that she was an avid thrower had built a curling sheet in the Tower.  
Pepper would be lying if she called herself a complete beginner or a beginner at all. In fact before she got a job at Stark Industries her plan had been to keep playing until she made the Olympic squad. She had been the skip of her high school and university teams, playing whenever her Grandfather would take her. She hadn't played for a while but as she put on her shoes she felt herself become nervous.  
Stepping out onto the ice she picked out a rock and slid over to the hack. Lining herself up towards the house she exhaled. She lunged, released and watched as the stone span away from her at a haphazard angle. It was no scoring shot but it was relaxing, letting her stress glide away atop the granite stone. She needed a team; perhaps she could get Maria, Jane and Nat to join her. Jane would be able to work out the perfect throws in a second and there was no way that the ladies of SHIELD wouldn't be able to time their throws exactly.  
“JARVIS remind me to call the girls after I leave.” Pepper commanded picking out another rock, her country may be doing poorly but she could see things looking up.


	6. The Hockey Horror Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey and Happy discuss their, thoughts, on the games

“You ever play?” Happy asked his passenger as he pulled into the marked bay outside the building.  
“Not really my style,” Colonel Rhodes replied checking his watch, he was supposed to be taking Pepper out for lunch but he was a bit early. “Still we seem to be doing well, are you a big fan?” The driver grinned.  
“The only sport that ever rivalled boxing for me, boxing on ice.” Both men had to agree that there was an obvious similarity. Happy turned up the radio slightly and they settled down to wait for Pepper to be ready. 

The CEO appeared a few minutes later and apologized as Happy opened the door for her.  
“I'm so sorry, the paperwork here never ends.” Rhodey shook it off; he knew that she would never keep him waiting intentionally. They set off into town for lunch and started discussing the reason for their meeting, a ‘how is Tony doing’ day.  
The conversation quickly turned back to the winter sports. They were both extremely passionate about it and they had similar views.  
“I reckon that if we just steal the Canadian teams then we could coerce their players into joining us. We would be brilliant.” Rhodey was particularly enthusiastic and Pepper was reminded that he was actually a warrior before the politics happened.   
“I was thinking maybe we just buy them out, I bet some of them must be willing to give in for the chance at a bigger pay check and a loose rein.” Maybe Pepper had a more diplomatic response but the theme was the same. “I mean really, the British are doing better than we are in Curling, they’re going to get at least silver.” Rhodey look puzzled.  
“Pepper, it is a Scottish sport, they do sort of have home field advantage.”Pepper waved off his remark, she knew she was right.   
“Well either way we need to get our act together, otherwise I might have to move abroad and manage SI by Skype.” Rhodey personally thought that that might be more productive, or if Tony was locked out of the office. Never mind that, there food arrived just as he finished his thought. He lifted his glass.  
“To America and to winter gold.”


	7. Red, White and Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is all set for the closing ceremony but his party might not go to plan

Steve was ecstatic when he saw the medal table, fourth was not bad at all. Any way it was the taking part that counted more than the winning and he was proud that team USA hadn't had any drug issues along the way. He had forced all of the tower's inhabitants to watch the skating gala as a 'bonding exercise' and he had noticed some of them being more interested then they let on. Even Tony was mesmerised by the spinning sparkles and the speed of rotation.   
At the end of the gala he herded his charges off to bed, he had a celebration planned for the closing ceremony and he needed to decorate. He had stashed a load of flags on his floor and he was going to hang them across the room. JARVIS had been helping him and all of the interfaces were going to display flags. Everyone was going to bring multicultural cuisine and it would be a big old party. He had just finished hanging the flags when he saw that it was half past two already, he quickly ran back to his floor before on of the avengers woke up claiming a nightmare or some such excuse.

When it was time for the closing ceremony everyone crowded into the communal area to appreciate Steve's work.  
"Um, you okay Cap." Clint asked to the Steve who had yet to enter the room.  
"Yeah I think Phil might have a heart attack if he see's what you've done." Pepper added trying not to laugh. At that point Phil did let out a gasp of horror.  
"Captain America, why? What did we do wrong?"  
Steve managed to worm his way into the room only to see what had happened. Every single flag , both digital and physical had been replaced with the Union Jack. All of the food that Steve had bought had been swapped for British dishes and he could faintly hear 'God Save The Queen' playing in the background.  
Steve turned to look at his tower mates, trying to figure out who could have betrayed him so much. They all denied it and Steve believed them, they ended up watching the ceremony draped in the right colours of red white and blue but the wrong pattern. They dined on fish and chips, steak and ale pie and chicken tikka masala washed down with numerous cups of proper tea.

JARVIS watched over his human companions and thanked Butterfingers for helping him with the manual labour before sending out final message. 'Take that you Yanks, long live the queen.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed the games as much as these guys have. Please comment and enjoy they closing ceremony.


End file.
